How unfair is that?
The day I found out I was pregnant, I quit drinking soda. You may remember me writing about it, and how happy and healthy and fit I was feeling. It was amazing the difference in myself when I wasn't drinking Diet Coke. I could sleep better, run better, endure better. My stress level was lower and I was happy!
It was a great first trimester and I had no morning sickness, not even nausea! I did gain more weight than I would have liked to, but my doctor said that if I am working out and watching those calories, that I wouldn't gain more than the baby needed. I'm good with that.
Then these last couple weeks I rolled into my second trimester, and suddenly that 1st trimester sickness has hit me. I could handle it... maybe... I'm tough...
But I was so thirsty and water and juice and every other drink I was drinking was making me really sick. History was repeating itself, and it stinks! I never drank much soda until I got pregnant with Sam and water and juice made me barf, so I turned to soda and soothed my tummy and that was that.
Now, it's happening again... but I swore I wouldn't give in. I still forced myself to drink water, and it made my stomach so sick, until I just couldn't do it anymore. My husband offered to get me a soda and I said no, I can do this! I worked so hard for it! But as a week went by I lost all my reserve, I was thirsty, and hungry and nothing looked very well... and I lost 5 pounds... which probably isn't the best thing to do in the second trimester. I can't function like this... my house fell apart and my kids were suffering because I was!
So I gave in. And it soothed my stomach so much that I was able to eat again.
And I felt like a failure.
I got a little depressed. I take that back. I got WAY depressed!
Ben told me to get over myself.
So I'm trying. But I am not going to hide in shame anymore. I am sick of sneaking my soda into my house so my neighbors don't see that I have been giving in. I am going to stop going to gas stations far away where no one knows me or there is a chance I may run into my friends. And I am not going to hide my downfall from my readers anymore, because I started feeling like a hypocrite and a liar.
So there it is. All my shame for the word to see... Head hanging in defeat...
But you can bet your buttons, that as soon as I can drink water and juice and other stuff again, the soda is out the door!!! THAT is a promise!!!