Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Phat Girl Running

Last year, after I had number 4, I got a heel spur trying to run.  It was so disheartening, so say the least.  Here I was at 285 pounds and unable to exercise at all.  I got depressed.  Then just as I was feeling better and getting ready to go for it again, I found out I was pregnant again and my heel got worse.  My midwife banned me from running for the rest of the pregnancy.

 Slowly my heel healed, and I got the go-ahead to start running again at the 6 week postpartum checkup.  But here I was now at 325... The last time I was able to run at all, I was a good 40 pounds lighter.

Full of hope, I hopped on the treadmill telling myself I wouldn't stop until I did at least a mile!  I mean, come on, I ran a half marathon 3 years ago!  I got this!

 I didn't have it.  Not even close.

 I couldn't even run a quarter of a mile... And even then I thought I was going to die.

 I gave up. Plain and simple.

I was fat and that wasn't going to change unless I could run and I couldn't.  I hate walking.  I just hate it.  Once you start running, walking is ruined forever.  It's so slow and boring.  And my heart and soul longs for the speed and feeling of complete freedom that running gives me.

 So, I've been doing Just Dance and other Wii programs at night to get me going and ready to run again.  It's been okay.  I even challenged the family and kicked butt every time. But my true love is running.

 Today, I had a doctor's appointment and I weighted in at 303... Soooo... Since Doctor scales suck, I am guessing I am just under 300 now, YIPPY!  And even though I am still huge, it gave my spirit a burst of determination.

 When I got home, I put the Littles down to nap, and hooked the Tweedles and the Middie up with a Wii game.  Then I went upstairs to face the treadmill once again.  I dusted off the cobwebs and shoved all the toys over, and got on.  Turning on my jams, I faced the treadmill said a silent prayer, and made a goal.

  Cat, you got this.  Just one mile. Just. One. Mile.  I thought, giving myself a pep talk. I have to do this, I CAN do this, even if I am going a snail's speed.  

Remember: my body is mortal, but my spirit is divine!


I started out with a 3 min warm up walk.  Then I adjusted my treadmill so I had a slight decline, yes, my treadmill does downhill, how cool is that?  Every little advantage helps, anyway.

And I started running.

Okay, so my run right now is the pace that some people can speed walk.  But that doesn't matter right?  Since I am so chunky, to a bystander I look like I am booking it.

I was feeling good as I passed my 1 mile mark and thought, woo hoo! Going strong!  Let's go for 2!

And I did!!!

When I got passed the 2 mile mark, I thought, do I dare?  Do I dare go for the 5K??  I dare!!!

And I did!!!!!

I am a 35 year old mother of 5 and I weigh 303 pounds.  I just RAN a 5K.  Feeling badass.
-Cat

5 comments:

Ruth Cowles said...

Wow!I am so excited for you. :)

Ruth Cowles said...

Wow!I am so excited for you. :)

Jessica Carpenter said...

I dare say you should feel pretty dang Bad A!

Cammy said...

Until today,I hadn't read your blog in years. I think the last time I read you had just barely become 5 nuts. For some reason though today I thought of you and decided to see if you were still around. I see it's been a couple months since you have posted but I wanted to tell you your last two posts resonated so strongly with me. I find myself tipping the scales beyond even what I did during the end of my pregnancies (my youngest is 7 years so the baby weight excuse doesn really work). It didn't help when I found out my cheer squad from high school wants to have a reunion next month. I would hope they have matured since high school and I won't have to worry about fat shaming but honestly I know deep down what some of them will be thinking. If there weren't some that I would really like to see I would try to come up with an excuse not to go. At the same time though I don't want to make up excuses. I'm trying to be confident and tell myself my weight isn't who I am. I am so much more than that but I get serious anxiety every time I think about this get together. Aside from that though I really want to be healthy, I want to feel like I can run and play with my kids and have energy. I even got crazy enough that I think I'm going to finally go for a marathon. I've done a half but never a full and i have always wanted to do it at least once. Anyway so i'm trying something new this time around and really trying to tap into a higher power. I know I can't do it alone, I really need the help of Heavenly Father and my Savior to do this. I even got an LDS 12 step book (He Did Deliver Me From Bondage) to help me along the way. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you so this, and sorry if it seems like a babbling overheard but I just appreciated reading your blog and your honesty really helped me out today so thanks.

Cammy said...

Until today,I hadn't read your blog in years. I think the last time I read you had just barely become 5 nuts. For some reason though today I thought of you and decided to see if you were still around. I see it's been a couple months since you have posted but I wanted to tell you your last two posts resonated so strongly with me. I find myself tipping the scales beyond even what I did during the end of my pregnancies (my youngest is 7 years so the baby weight excuse doesn really work). It didn't help when I found out my cheer squad from high school wants to have a reunion next month. I would hope they have matured since high school and I won't have to worry about fat shaming but honestly I know deep down what some of them will be thinking. If there weren't some that I would really like to see I would try to come up with an excuse not to go. At the same time though I don't want to make up excuses. I'm trying to be confident and tell myself my weight isn't who I am. I am so much more than that but I get serious anxiety every time I think about this get together. Aside from that though I really want to be healthy, I want to feel like I can run and play with my kids and have energy. I even got crazy enough that I think I'm going to finally go for a marathon. I've done a half but never a full and i have always wanted to do it at least once. Anyway so i'm trying something new this time around and really trying to tap into a higher power. I know I can't do it alone, I really need the help of Heavenly Father and my Savior to do this. I even got an LDS 12 step book (He Did Deliver Me From Bondage) to help me along the way. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you so this, and sorry if it seems like a babbling overheard but I just appreciated reading your blog and your honesty really helped me out today so thanks.